


Every Night I Almost Call You Just To Say It Always Will Be You

by tomlinsuckthis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, Dirty Talk, Drunk Sex, Feminization, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, I finally wrote something without daddy kink, M/M, Mpreg, Pining, Pregnant Louis, Riding, Top Harry, birth scene, even though Louis drops out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:49:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1205050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomlinsuckthis/pseuds/tomlinsuckthis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis doesn't need Harry. Until he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Night I Almost Call You Just To Say It Always Will Be You

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo. Yeah. I don't know what this is. I found this on my google drive from like December and decided to finish it. So yeah. Title from the song Wherever You Are by 5 Seconds of Summer
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr if you'd like: tomlinsuckthis
> 
> Also kudos/comments are nice!

“I can’t believe you leave for Uni tomorrow,” Harry sighs as he takes a sip from his beer. He and Louis are lounging on Louis’ bed, spending their last night together. Tomorrow Louis leaves for Uni in London, and Harry, who had taken a gap year after he graduated two years ago, is going back the local Uni in Doncaster for his sophomore.

“Yeah. It’s crazy, innit? It seems like only yesterday you were smashing my face into the sand at the park,” Louis tells him, frowning when Harry laughs at the memory. (They met in Primary school, when Louis was four and Harry was six. Louis thought the clumsy boy with the curls was cute and told him just as much. Only to end up with his face in the sand. Harry apologized right after, and they’ve been best friends ever since).

“What am I going to do without you, Lou?” Harry’s voice is deeper and gravely, letting Louis know that Harry is tipsy and on his way to drunk. The older boy rolls over and wraps his arms around Louis’ waist before he starts lightly kissing him on his neck. And oh. This is knew. They’ve had the odd drunken snog before, but there was never neck kisses.

“I, I dunno. Haz, what’re you doing?” Louis asks breathily, his voice shaky. Harry may be drunk enough to act like this, but Louis is definitely not and the voice in the back of his head is telling him to stop this before it goes too far.

“C’mon, Lou. I wanna do this, and I know you to too. Wanna have a way to remember my best friend by before he leaves me behind,” Harry whispers as he licks over the fresh bruise he made on Louis’ skin. 

Louis snorts. “Haz you have plenty of things to remember me by, ‘sides I doubt you’ll remember this in the morning anyway.”

Harry pulls away from Louis’ neck to look him in the face, and Louis’ breath catches in his throat at the desperate look on his friend’s face. “Lou,” Harry whispers, begs almost.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” 

Louis’ response prompts a smile to appear on Harry’s lips, and he presses their lips together sloppily, his tongue immediately pushing into Louis’ mouth. Louis moves so he’s on his back and Harry hovers over him, supporting his weight on his elbows. Well at least he tries to, since he’s so drunk he ends up landing on top of Louis.

“Hazza,” Louis pants, pushing Harry off of him. “Lemme, lemme ride you.” Louis sits up and pushes Harry off of him and onto his back (while thanking the lord that he has a king size bed). He strips himself of his shirt before straddling Harry’s waist and pressing their lips together again. 

“Much better,” Harry mumbles into their kiss, his hands finding their way down Louis’ pants. His fingers brush across Louis’ dry hole, causing a loud moan to fall from the younger boys lips. “Such a slut. You like having your tight little hole touched, don’t you, Louis?” Harry slurs, causing a whimper to fall from Louis’ lips. 

“Yeah. Like it when you touch me there,” he breathes, his hands yanking Harry’s top off before making work on the older boys belt. Louis must have drank more than he thought, he’s starting to feel lost in his own mind and dizzy. Either that or he’s drunk on Harry. He thinks it may be a mixture of both.

Within only a few minutes both Louis and Harry and naked except for their boxer and Louis is grinding down against Harry’s hard cock, little moans and whimpers escaping his lips. Harry’s hands are gripping his hips tight enough to leave bruises, but Louis doesn’t care. All he cares about is getting Harry’s cock in him as fast as possible. So he reluctantly climbs off of Harry and yanks the boys boxers down off of his long legs before ridding himself of his own.

“Look so pretty, naked and ready for me. Bet you just can’t wait to get my cock in your arse. Am I right, Lou? Wanna feel my cock in your arse, don’t ya?”

Louis nods with a whimper, straddling Harry’s waist once again and grabbing the lube from his bedside drawer. He doesn’t bother opening himself up, he fingered himself to an orgasm that morning and he’s always welcomes the pain that comes with a nice cock pushing into him.

“Already get your slutty hole ready for my cock, baby?” Harry asks, his hands running up and down Louis’ sides.

“Yea,” Louis pants, slicking Harry’s slick length thoroughly. “Fingered myself this morning. Came all over my tummy thinking about you.”

Harry lets out a guttural groan at Louis’ words and digs his fingers into the boy’s fleshy hips. “Such a fucking slut, Lou. Just hurry up and climb on my cock like the whore you are.”

Louis whimpers but does as he’s told. He grasps Harry’s cock at the base and hovers over it for a moment before he slowly sinks down, not stopping until Harry is buried completely. They both let out low moans as Louis adjusts to the size, it’s the biggest Louis has ever taken and he feels like he’s being split in half. And he absolutely loves it.

“Shit, Lou. Such a tight pussy for me. Your pussy feels so nice wrapped around my cock. Such a nice pussy,” Harry moans, his eyes closing. 

Harry’s dirty words make Louis’ cock twitch, and he starts to slowly lift up off of Harry’s cock, before slamming back down. The head of Harry’s cock is nudged right up against his sweet spot, and the smallest of strokes are sending electric shocks of pleasure down his spine. “So, good,” he stutters, the pace of his movements increasing.   
“Yeah, baby? You like the way I fuck your pretty pink pussy? You like the way I fill you up?” Louis can only nod, tiny whimpers leaving his lips. “So good for me. Think you can cum from just my cock, baby? Think you can make a mess all over your pretty little tummy without touching your clit?”

Louis whines at Harry’s words, his head nodding wildly. He doesn’t even feel like he’s in control of his body anymore. All of his senses are just Harry, Harry, Harry, and he can feel his orgasm approaching quickly. “G-Getting close,” he stutters out.

“Mm, such a good little girl. Fucking your pussy on my cock. Your pussy gonna cum soon? Is it gonna soak my cock with all of its tasty juices?” As Harry talks his hands trail up Louis’ body to his chest and start tugging at pulling at his nipples.

Harry’s words and sudden attack on his nipples push Louis over the edge, and with a moan of Harry’s name is cock is shooting all over his tummy and torso. His body falls limp against Harry’s   
chest and the older boy places his feet flat on the bed before harshly pounding into Louis, in search of his own release.

“Such a good girl, such a good girl for me. You came so much and didn’t even touch your clitty. And now you’re letting me use your pussy so I can cum. Such a good little girl,” Harry praises, slapping Louis’ on the bum. 

Louis just lays against Harry’s torso and let’s him be used, little whimpers leaving his lips from over sensitivity. He clenches around Harry, trying to bring the older boy to his peak as quickly as possible.

Harry moans, his thrusts starting to become erratic. “Such a good girl. I can feel your pussy, helping me cum. Such a good girl with such a nice pussy. Fuck, gonna come in your pussy now, princess,” Harry warns with a moan, before he’s thrusting into Louis one last time and painting his insides with cum. 

Louis whimpers as he feels Harry slide out of him, some of his cum dripping out along side of it. He rolls off of Harry so he’s laying on his back next to him, before grabbing his discarded t-shirt and wiping his chest off. He grabs his boxers and slides them on, before looking over to Harry.

And of course the older boy is already fast asleep, soft snores leaving his lips. Louis sighs and closes his eyes. A soft whisper of “I love you,” leaving his mouth before he’s fast asleep.   
-

When Louis wakes up in the morning it’s to the sound of his mum knocking on the door and a throbbing pain in his bum. He groans and rubs the sleep from his eyes before sitting up. At least he tries to sit up, but half of Harry’s body (half of Harry’s naked body) is on top of him. He, thankfully, still has boxers on. Which leads him to believe that Harry had just gotten naked, like usual. He pushes the thought away that something other happened and answers his mum. “Yeah, mum?” He calls, instead of wrestling with a groggy Harry to go and answer the door.

“It’s about time you boys get up and get ready. We have to leave in an hour and you know the girl’s aren’t going to want you to go!” She announces cheerily as she opens his bedroom door.   
But Louis knows it’s just an act, she doesn’t want to let her baby go.

“Kay, mum, we’ll be down in ten.” With one last smile Jay disappears and Louis shoves Harry off of him and onto the floor.

“Hey! What was that for!”

-

Half an hour later Harry and Louis are bringing the rest of Louis’ bags down stairs and out to the car. Once everything is packed away and it’s time to say goodbye all of Louis’s sisters burst into tears. 

“Don’t go, Lou!” Daisy sobs as she throws herself at him and wraps her arms around his leg.

“You can’t leave us here! We’ll die without you!” Phoebe wails as she attaches herself to his other legs. Both Lottie and Fizz shout similar things before hugging him tightly.

It takes twenty minutes and both Louis and Jay but the girls have finally detached themselves and are drying their tears. The only person left for him to say goodbye to is Harry. They’re standing in front of each other completely silent, unsure of what to say.

“I mean what I said last night, I really don’t know what I’m going to do without you,” Harry tells him and Louis smiles slightly.

“C’mon, Haz. You’ll be so busy with Ed and Liam and Niall that you won’t even have time to notice I’m gone.”

Harry shakes his head. “Yeah, I’ll have them. But they’re not you. They’re not the ones I grew up with, they’re not the ones I have all of the memories with. They’re not the ones I built a treehouse with, their not the ones that pushed me out of that tree house and gave me a concussion,” he chuckles. “They’re not my best friend.”

Louis doesn’t respond. He’s absolutely speechless. He just wraps his arms around Harry’s neck and squeezes tightly, swallowing the ‘I love you’ that wants to squeak out. He knows Harry will just take it in a friendly way, but it means so much more to Louis in a billion different ways. So he settles for something safe. “Best friends forever, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry agrees as he returns Louis’ hug.

“We’ll keep in touch, yeah?”

“Of course,” Harry responds with an eyeroll, as if Louis had asked one of the stupidest questions ever. “Now go on and get out of here, you got bigger things waiting for you.”

Louis hugs Harry and his sisters one more time before climbing in the backseat of his dad’s car and leaving to start his future.  
-

Harry and Louis don’t keep in touch. They try to, for the first few weeks, but it gets hard. Louis is busy getting settled into his dorm, making new friends (him and his roommate Zayn, an artsy english major, really hit it off) and getting used to college life. While Harry is back in Doncaster, settling into his new classes and trying to juggle all of his course work and his job at the bakery. So it goes from constantly texting and two phone calls a week to some texting and no phone calls. But then it dwindles down to an email a week. And then all contact stops. 

And Louis’ fine with that, he really is. He has new friends and enough homework to keep him busy for the next thirty years, but sometimes at night he wonders about Harry. He wonders if Harry misses him, or if he’s making new memories with a new best friend. Sometimes he thinks about asking his mum or Lottie how Harry is doing when he calls, but he always ends up chickening out. And he’s fine with chickening out, he doesn’t need Harry.

But then suddenly, he does. 

-

“Shit mate, you should really go to the doctor,” Zayn tells him as he watches Louis chuck up the entire contents of his stomach, just like he’s seen him do every other morning for the past week. 

Louis shakes his head as he pushes past him and over to the sink, dodging the few people in the bathroom that are actually up at a reasonable hour on a Saturday. He rinses his mouth out with water, making sure that he gets all of the traces of vomit out of his mouth. “Yeah, maybe I should,” he comments as they make their way back to their room.

“You’ve been throwing up every morning, only in the morning, there is definitely something wrong with you.” Louis hates to admit it, but Zayn is right. This isn’t normal, he really needs to see the doctor. 

“I’ll call one this afternoon, okay?”

“You better, Tommo!”

-

After Louis falls back asleep for three hours and starts his history paper he decides it’s time to call the doctor. (He may just be finding a way to procrastinate his paper, but he should call the doctor anyway). He sets up an appointment for the next afternoon and then takes a nap, he deserves it for being so responsible.

-  
“So Mr. Tomlinson what seems to be the problem?” Louis’ legs are kicking nervously as the doctor awaits his answer. This is the first time he’s ever been to the doctor without having his mum at least waiting in the waiting room, and it’s kind of nerve wracking. 

“I’ve just been like, throwing up every morning for like, a week. I’ve been more tired than usual, but I’m a college student so I guess that’s normal. Oh and my chest is kind a sore.”

The doctor nods, and writes all of his symptoms down in his file. “I’m going to do some blood work and then run some tests and we’ll see if we can find what’s causing all of this.”

-

Twenty minutes later there’s a bandaid on Louis’ arm and the doctor is standing in front of him with his test results in his hand. “Well Mr. Tomlinson it seems that you’re pregnant, congratulations.” 

“What?!” Louis yells in bewilderment. He can’t be pregnant, he hasn’t had sex since the night he graduated from high school, four months ago. “That can’t be possible. The test must have been wrong.”

“Well these tests are never usually wrong, but if you insist it is I could do an ultrasound if you’d like?”

“I would,” Louis says with a curt nod. He lays back on the table and lifts his shirt up, watching as the doctor sets everything up. He knows that there isn’t a possibility that he’s pregnant but he’s still slightly nervous. He can’t be pregnant. He’s barely halfway through his first semester of university, the last thing he needs is a baby. He’s always wanted children, he just always thought he’d have a job and a house and be married to the father.

“Alright, we can get started.” The doctor’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts and Louis notices that the room is suddenly dark and the doctor is squeezing a cold gel onto his stomach.. 

“Okay,” Louis whispers, not really trusting a voice. The doctor turns the machine on, and the bright light washes over Louis. He’s even more scared now. There’s no way that this ultrasound can be wrong. If it shows that he’s pregnant then he’s pregnant. And that scares the shit out of him.

The doctor drags the wand across his stomach and Louis keeps his eyes trained on the screen. A picture shows up on the screen and small thumps can be heard throughout the room. Even though Louis doesn’t know how to read the image on the screen he knows that sound. “Well Mr. Tomlinson you are in fact pregnant.” But Louis knew that even before the doctor told him. He’s pregnant. “Congratulations.”

-  
“Hey mate, how’d it go?” Zayn asks, looking up from his book. Louis groans and plops down on his bed. “Aw come on, Lou. It couldn’t have been that bad. What’s wrong with you, then?” Zayn gets up off of his bed and goes to sit down next to Louis before he starts to rub his back.

“I’m pfferen,” Louis mumbles into his pillow.

“What was that? Gonna have to speak up, love.”

Louis picks his head up just long enough to say “I’m pregnant.” Before dropping it back against the bed. 

“You’re what?” Zayn asks, just as surprised as Louis had been. Louis sighs before turning onto his back and looking up at Zayn.

“They ran a test and did an ultrasound. And it turns out I’m six weeks pregnant.”

“Jesus Christ, Lou. What are you going to do?”

Louis shrugs his shoulders and runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Probably drop out and go back home.”

“What about the father? What are you going to tell him?”

Louis bites his lip. “That’s the thing, I don’t know who the father is. I don’t even know how I can be pregnant! The last time I remember having sex was four months ago. Unless I had sex that I don’t remember seven weeks ago then.” But Louis stops. Seven weeks ago he left Doncaster for London. That morning he woke up with a hangover and a hurt bum. And a naked Harry laying on top of him.

“Lou? ‘S wrong, man?”

“Nothing. I just. Gotta take a trip home.”

-

Louis doesn’t call his mum to say he’s coming. On Friday after class he heads back to his dorm and drops off his books before grabbing the bag he had packed. He bids farewell to Zayn before he heads to the train station. He catches a train to Doncaster and then gets a taxi back to his mum’s house. 

Once he gets there he goes up to the door and knocks, hoping his mum has the kettle on. He could really use a nice cup of tea. He’s texting Zayn to tell him that he made it home alright when the door opens.

“Lou?” Louis just about drops his phone at the sound of Harry’s voice. His stomach drops as he looks up, he feels like he’s going to be sick when Harry smiles at him brightly. He’s tried his hardest to not think about Harry over the past few weeks, and even when he found out Harry was the father he’s been trying to forget the older boy. But here he is standing in front of him and all Louis can think is Harry Harry Harry. “Lou!” he cheers, pulling Louis into a hug. Louis hugs him back half-assed and tries to ignore the pained look on his friend’s face when he pulls away after only a moment.

“Hey, Haz,” Louis says, having to swallow to keep himself from puking. “What are you doing here? Is my mum home?” He pushes past Harry into the house, noticing how scarily quiet it is. 

“No, she went out on a date. I’m watching the girls for her. They’re out in the yard if you want to see them.”

Louis can hear the concern in Harry’s voice, and it makes him want to cry. Louis stopped returning Harry’s emails, Louis’ carrying Harry’s baby and hasn’t told him. Yet here Harry is, being concerned about Louis. “Do you know when she’ll be back?”

Harry makes a noise like he’s going to respond, when an American voice carries down the stairs. “Hey Hazza. You ready to make dinner?” Then there’s a girl appearing at the bottom of the stairs. “Oh! And who are you?” she asks, her voice rude. 

Louis gives her the most sickeningly sweet grin he can muster and turns to look at her. “My name’s Louis. I live here.” 

“Kendall. This is Louis. He’s Jay’s son, he goes to Uni in London,” Harry intervenes, walking over to Kendall and wrapping an arm around her waist. Yeah, Louis is definitely going to vomit.

He can hear Harry and Kendall mumbling sweet things to each other and he heads right out to the backyard to see his sisters, swallowing his vomit and thoughts of ‘that should be me’, before he vomits all over the both of them and their happiness.

-

The next morning Louis wakes up extremely early to vomit, as usual, before taking his vitamins and heading downstairs. He’s hoping that only his mum will be awake, and that he can tell her that he’s pregnant. Thankfully she’s alone in the kitchen, humming to herself as she flips pancakes.

“Morning, mum,” he greets, kissing her on the cheek before he takes a seat at the table.

“Morning, boo, Did you sleep alright?”

“Mhm,” he hums, tapping his fingers on the table. 

Louis hears his mum sigh and turn the stove off, before she’s coming over and sitting across from him. “Why are you home, Lou? Not that I don’t love the fact that you’re here, I do. I’m just curious.”

Now it’s Louis’ turn to sigh, and as his mum takes his hands in hers he looks down at the table. “I went to the doctor last weekend. And um, I’m pregnant.”

Louis hears him mum intake a breath quickly, and he squeezes his eyes shut. He’s afraid of what her reaction is going to be. He knows how easy it’d be for her to get angry at him and disown him, that her not getting involved would be the best for her and the girls. So he’s surprised when his mum is suddenly getting up and hugging him tight.

“Y-You’re not mad?” Louis asks in bewilderment, his arms wrapping around her in return. 

“Of course not, pumpkin. I love you and I’ll always love you no matter what.”

Louis sighs in relief and relaxes into her embrace. “Oh thank god.”

-

Louis doesn’t tell his mum that Harry is the father until later that evening when the girls are fast asleep and they’re having tea in the living room. Whenever he tried to do it earlier one of the girls would always worm their way into the conversation and he doesn’t want them to know yet. With his luck they’d go blabbing to Harry before Louis can even tell him.

Louis doesn’t even know if he should tell Harry. He could always just say it was some random kid from Uni and be done with it, but if the baby comes out looking like Harry he’d be screwed. His mum told him that the right thing to do is to tell Harry and that he doesn’t know, Harry could want all of that with Louis. He scoffs at the idea, Harry would never leave Kendall for him. His mum disagrees but agrees to not say anything about it and let Louis do as he pleases.

And the next morning when Louis is in the kitchen with the girls and Harry stops by to see him his mum lies and says he’s still sleeping.

So yeah, Louis really loves his mum.

-

That afternoon Louis’ mum drops the girls off at their fathers (apparently his mum had forgotten to mention their separation) and takes Louis back to London so he can drop out of school and collect his things. 

“So you’re really doing this, huh?” Zayn asks awkwardly as he lies against his bed, watching Lou pack his things up.

“Yeah, I guess so. It’s weird, innit?”

Zayn hums and gets up, heading over to Louis and pulling him into a hug. “Don’t know who I’m going to skip Philosophy with now. I might actually have to go there now.”

Louis laughs and hugs Zayn back, pressing his face into the taller boys neck. “Imagine that, Zayn Malik actually attending a class.”

Zayn pulls away from Louis quickly and feigns a noise of offense. “How rude!” he shrieks, punching Louis on the arm. 

“Oi! Watch it, will you! I’m pregnant and fragile now,” he pouts, one hand going to rub his arm and the other rubbing his stomach. It’s weird to him, that he’s already so protective of the baby. He thought it would take until he at least had a bump to feel it, but ever since he found out the thought of doing whatever it takes to protect his child has been stuck in the back of his mind. 

Zayn chuckles and shakes his head, going back to sit on his own bed. “Did you tell him, yet? The father.”

Louis shakes his head. 

“Are you ever going to tell him?”

Louis shrugs.

“You can do it, you know. Without him. I believe in you.”

Louis just smiles at Zayn and closes up his bags. How can anyone believe in him when he can’t even believe in himself.

-

Later that night when they get home Harry is sitting on the front porch, an easy smile on his face when he spots Louis in the front seat. “Hey, Lou. I thought you’d be back to school by now,” Harry says as Louis gets out of the car, his lanky legs bringing him over to hug Louis.

Louis swallows the feelings that are threatening to spew out of his mouth (most of them being extreme fond and every word for love he knows) and returns his hug briefly before he goes to help his mum. “We just came from there, actually. I uh, dropped out.” He can practically hear Harry’s jaw drop to the floor as he pulls some bags out. He heads into the house and up to his room, not all too surprised to hear Harry’s steps behind him.

“What do you mean you’re dropping out?” Harry asks, his face resembling something of a frog. 

It takes everything Louis has in him for him not to laugh, he has to take a deep breath to compose himself before answering. “Something came up, and I decided that it’s best for me to leave school for now. I can always go back.” He pushes past Harry to go back out to the car, but a firm grip on his elbow stops him. 

“Lou, wait.” Louis sighs, and turns so he’s facing Harry. “What is it? What’s wrong? I’m your best friend, you can tell me anything.”

The pure affection and care in Harry’s voice break Louis, and his eyes fall close as a few tears drip down his cheeks. He and Harry haven’t talked properly in five weeks. Five weeks. And now Louis is back unannounced and Harry is acting like nothing has happened. Like Louis hasn’t been the shittiest friend in the history of the world. 

At the sight of his friend’s tears Harry pulls him into his chest and wraps his arms around his waist. “Shh. Lou. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” he coos. One of his hands leaves Louis’ waist and starts to rub his back, trying to calm the younger boy down. “Everything is going to be okay.”

As Louis cries softly into Harry’s chest he makes a decision. Harry deserves to know. He’s involved in this as much as Louis is and he deserves to know. This decision being made he pulls away from Harry’s embrace and wipes the tears from his cheeks. “You’re right, Haz,” he says, letting the old nickname roll right off of his tongue. “You’re my best friend and I can tell you anything.” He puts his hands on Harry’s chest and pushes him back. “You may wanna sit down first.”

Harry looks down at Louis quizzically but does as he says and sits down on Louis’ bed. Once he’s seated Louis goes over to his desk and opens the drawer, grabbing the picture that’s on top. “Lou? What are you doing?” Harry questions, but Louis just shushes him and stands in front of him his hands behind his back.

“Well. Um. Harry I’ve decided to drop out of school because well. Because I’m pregnant.” Louis can tell that Harry’s about to interject, so he puts his hand up to stop him. “And before you ask who the father is or anything, I have to tell you. It’s you, Hazza. You’re the father of my baby.”

Louis looks down, afraid of Harry’s reaction. It’s silent for a few moments, the only noises that can be heard are the sounds of their shallow breathing and the faint noises of his mum moving around downstairs.

“What’s behind your back?” Harry finally says, his voice deep and gravelly. 

Louis looks up, but Harry is looking down at his hands. “It’s um. It’s the sonogram picture. D’you wanna see it?” Harry only nods, and Louis steps forward, holding the picture out to Harry. His friend only looks up so he can spot the picture, before he’s grabbing it with shaky hands. 

“Wow,” Harry breathes after examining the picture for a few minutes. He looks up at Louis, his eyes rimmed with red and an awed expression on his face. “When you said you were pregnant I thought you were kidding but wow. You definitely are.”

Louis chuckles lightly. “When the doctor told me I didn’t believe him. The only reason I have the sonogram picture is because I made the doctor do one after I told him the blood test was wrong.”

Harry chuckles at that as his eyes fall back down to the picture in his hands. “I need some time, Louis. Like, this is really heavy. You know? This was kind of the last thing I expected you to tell me. I just need some time to think,” Harry says, his eyes coming back to meet Louis’.

“I get it,” Louis says, nodding. And he does, he completely understands why Harry needs time to think about all of this. “Take all the time you want and when you’re ready we can talk.”

Harry gives Louis a small smile before he gets up off the bed and shoves his hands in his hoodie pockets. “So I’ll see you around, then?”

Louis nods with a smile and steps out of Harry’s way so the younger boy can exit.

-

It’s not until later that night when Louis realizes that Harry took the sonogram picture with him that he truly believes things will be alright.

-

The next morning Louis wakes up feeling optimistic that things are going to be okay. But as he walks the girls down to their bus stop Harry and Kendall pass by, looking in love and happy. Harry doesn’t even spare Louis a glance.

-

 

When Louis is twelve weeks along he goes back to the doctor for his first checkup. He feels much better this time, since he knows there won’t be any surprises and his mum his by his side. 

He gets weighed to make sure he’s not gaining too much or losing too much (he’s only gained a pound and a half thank god), and the doctor listens to him breathe and his heartbeat to make sure everything is normal. And then it’s time for him to see the baby.

His mum squeezes his hand tightly as the doctor gets everything ready, and Louis wishes she had been with him last time. Now he’s not so anxious. He knows that there’s a baby growing inside him, anything the doctor may tell him he already knows.

“The babies seems to be growing quite well,” the doctor says, and Louis breaks out of his thoughts. 

“Wait. What did you just say?” He asks, focusing on the screen. He was so deep in thought he hadn’t even noticed that the ultrasound had started, and he definitely didn’t hear the two different heartbeats that are resonating around the room.

“The babies seem to be growing quite well?” The doctor repeats, but it sounds more like a question. “Did you not know you were having twins?”

Louis shakes his head in awe, his eyes focused on the two separate amniotic sacs. On the two separate babies. “So there’s really like, two babies in there?”

Both his mum and the doctor chuckle and Louis feels his mum squeeze his hand.

“There really is, Mr. Tomlinson. Congratulations.”

-

When they get back from the doctor Louis goes right up to his room, one hand on his stomach and the other grasping a sonogram picture. He lays down on his bed and lets out a sigh, his hand beginning to rub small circles onto his stomach. All he can think about is the fact that there’s twins growing inside of him right now, and while that scares the shit out of him, it also excites him. Over the past few weeks he’s warmed up to the idea of becoming a father, the shock has worn off and now he’s happy. He loves the babies and it grows more and more each day.

He contemplates texting Harry, they haven’t talked since the night Louis told him and he hasn’t seen him since the day at the bus stop with the girls. He figures it’s because Harry is avoiding him, but he doesn’t like to think about that. One part of him is telling him to give Harry time and that he’ll contact him first, but another part is telling him that he at least deserves to know that Louis is having twins, that way he can make a decision knowing all of the facts. And a teeny tiny part of his is telling him to give up on Harry altogether. But of course he’s a weak human being with a weak spot for Harry so he pulls out his phone to text him.

Uh, hi. It’s Lou. Just thought you should know that I went to the doctors today and well. I’m having twins.

Not even three seconds after he hits send he gets a response.

Error Code 404: Number no longer in service.

Louis throws his phone to the other side on the room and pretends like it doesn’t bother him. He also pretends that he doesn’t cry himself to sleep that night.

-  
Louis is hallucinating. It may be the hormones, or it may be the fact that he ate a whole canister of spray cheese before bed, but he is definitely hallucinating. Because as he stares at his bare chest in the mirror (something he hasn’t done in a very long time) he swears he has a baby bump. It isn’t big, his stomach is just protruding out from his hips more so than it had been yesterday, he’s sure of it. He thinks he may still be asleep, somewhere off in dreamland, but when his hands come down and rest on his stomach the bump is hard and smooth.

“Mum! Come here!” he shouts, not caring that his sisters are probably still sleeping. Jay is in his room a few moments later, a worry stricken look on her face. 

“Lou? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Louis abandons staring at himself in the mirror so he can face his mother. He gives her a big mile and nods. “I’m fine! But look!” He turns to the side and removes his hands from his body so his mum can see the outline of his belly.

Jay gives him a soft smile. “It’s great, boo.”

“Isn’t it? Now you can actually tell that there’s babies in there.” When Louis first found out he was pregnant he certainly was not looking forward to actually appearing pregnant. But now that he has a soft swell to his stomach he doesn’t mind it that much. Or at all, really.

After Jay has come and kissed his cheek Louis is alone again. He picks up his phone and takes a picture in the mirror so his bump is on full display. He hovers over Harry’s name in his contact, but he remembers that Harry’s number doesn’t work anymore. So he scrolls right past it and sends it to Zayn instead.

He captions it with a slanted smiley face because on one hand he’s happy about the progress but on the other he wishes he was sending the picture to someone else. 

-

When Louis hits the 24 week mark he wants to bash himself over the head repeatedly. Not only has he not heard from Harry, but his hormones are going insane. One second he’s yelling at the twins to stop making so much noise and the next he’s sobbing and apologizing profusely for being so rude. And on top of all of that he’s been craving the weirdest concoctions.

So that’s why he finds himself at Tesco at half eleven. He’s been craving macaroni and cheese drizzled in chocolate sauce and of course they ran out of macaroni and cheese yesterday. When he was craving it with avocado. He heads straight to the aisle that contains what he wants, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself. It’s a Friday night and the store is crowded with people buying alcohol and other party supplies and it seems that all of their eyes are on him. 

He’s got one hand on his belly and the other rubbing his face as he contemplates what brand to get when he hears a familiar laugh. He turns his head to the right, and immediately regrets it. Harry and Kendall are heading down the aisle towards him, hands intertwined and smiles on their lips. He looks away quickly and goes to grab a random box, hoping they don’t notice him.

“Oh Louis. Hey,” Louis hears Harry’s deep voice say.Of course he wasn’t that lucky.

Louis turns to face the happy couple and paints a fake smile on his face. “Hi Harry. Kendall.” He tries to ignore the expressions on their faces (a disgusted one from Kendall and a shocked one from Harry) but fails miserably. He swallows thickly and looks down at his feet, trying hard not to cry at the fact that he no longer can see his feet. (Thankfully he manages to do that).

“I’d say Hi but I’m not sure if you’re Louis or a beached whale,” Kendall says with a laugh, looking at Harry for approval. But Harry ignores her and continues to stare at Louis.

Louis shrinks under Harry’s gaze, his feelings already hurt after Kendall’s comment. “Well bye,” he says curtly, walking past them and towards the counter. As he rounds the the corner he looks over his shoulder at Harry, noticing that the older boy is staring back at him. He almost thinks that Harry is going to follow him.

He doesn’t.

And the sad part is, Louis doesn’t know if he’s more hurt or thankful that he didn’t.  
-

When Louis is 32 weeks along he moves out of his mum’s house and into a flat not to far away. The money that he had been saving and had been given towards college was just sitting in a bank account, so he decides to use it to get his own place. There isn’t enough room for all of them in his mum’s place and Louis wants to do this all on his own. 

So Zayn comes up for a weekend and paints the nursery for the babies a creme color with an animal mural on one of the walls. (Since he’s having a boy and a girl he didn’t want it to be a room for a boy or a room for a girl. He wanted it to be neutral). And then that night after the paint has dried and the room has been aired out Zayn puts the crib together while Louis and Perrie (Zayn’s new girlfriend. Louis hates them for being so in love) sit on the floor and fold the hundreds of clothes he has. 

“So, Lou. Have you talked to the father?” Zayn says casually, at least he tries to make it sound casual.

Louis shakes his head with a sigh and finishes folding the pair of pants that are resting on his giant belly. “No. Not since the one time I ran into him and his girlfriend at Tesco. And I literally only said Hi. So the last time I really talked to him was when I told him I was pregnant. I tried to text him to tell him that I was having twins but he either changed his number or blocked mine. So, ya know.” Louis shrugs like it’s nothing, even though he has tears threatening to spill over his cheeks and a huge lump forms in his throat.

“Oh, Lou. That’s so shitty. You don’t need him. He’s just an asshole who doesn’t deserve you or your amazing babies,” Perrie comforts, throwing an arm over his shoulders.

“It’s not even just that he was some guy either, he was my best friend. For like, my whole entire life. And then he gets a girlfriend and suddenly I’m yesterday’s trash. There was a point in my life where I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt to just be his friend. And after all he’s done to me I still feel that way. I still love him more than life itself,” Louis mumbles, starting to cry. 

Zayn abandons his work on the crib and comes to sit on the side of Louis that Perrie isn’t occupying. He wraps his arms around Louis’ torso and Perrie wraps hers around his neck and they each give him a big hug. “Loubear, everything is going to be okay. You don’t need that asshole. I’m your best friend now. And you’re going to be such an amazing dad the twins won’t even need that other guy. You’ll do just fine by yourself.”

Zayn still believes in Louis. And now Louis is starting to believe in himself too.

-

“Jesus fucking christ,” Louis shouts loudly as another contraction rips through his body, his hands clenching onto the railings of the hospital bed like they’re the only thing keeping him alive. Which they probably are. He’s been in labor for six hours and he think he may actually be dying. 

“You’re doing so good, boobear. So good. You can do it,” his mum encourages, running a cool hand through his sweat caked hair. 

Louis glares at his mum. “This shit sucks. It feels like someone is drilling into my spine. Why would anyone ever want to do this?” He can tell she’s holding back laughter and he’s thankful that she at least has the decency not to kick him while he’s down. (Because if she did laugh he probably would have smacked her across the face, and he would have regretted that for the rest of his life).

“Because when it’s all over you’re going to have two beautiful children. Isn’t that enough of a reason to do this?”

-

Louis keeps that thought in mind five hours later as he’s pushing the first twin out. He’s never felt pain like this before in his life, and as shouts leave his lips he needs something to keep him sane. He thinks about how soon he’ll be meeting his first child as he crowns for the first time and it feels like he’s being ripped in half. He thinks of the first words his child would ever utter as he bears down hard and pushes as hard as he can as he passes the shoulders. He starts to cry in something other than pain when his son, blood and mucus covered and all, is placed on his chest.

And the warmth that remains even after he’s taken away is enough to get him through pushing his daughter out.

-

Louis spends the next two years of his life working a minimum wage job that he hates and coming home every night after his shift ends instead of going out. But he does it for his two blue eyed princess and his green eyed prince and that’s what matters. In the years it’s been since he last saw Harry he’s somehow managed to dodge every opportunity he may ever have had of seeing him. And he doesn’t mind at all. He doesn’t need Harry to help him raise the twins and every day a little bit of his feelings for Harry dwindle away. (Except they really don’t. They’re still there, he just tries to ignore them. And he fails nine times out of ten). 

And to prove that to himself and everyone else (especially his mum) he takes a job offer he gets to work for a publishing company in London and packs up the twins and the rest of his life and finally tries to move on.

-

The move into their new flat the day after the twins turn two and six months later the last person he’d expect to see drops back into his life.

The one person he was running away from manages to find him.  
-

It’s a Saturday night and instead of going out and partying Zayn and Perrie are at his place. Louis and Perrie are sitting on the floor playing with the twins while Zayn is in Ryan’s room, finishing the mural he hasn’t had the time to complete.

Louis swears Grace is two seconds away from saying ‘Daddy’, instead of her usual ‘Da’, when there’s a knock on the door. Perrie gives Louis a confused look which he returns, before he gets up and answers it. “Oh my god,” he mutters when the door is open, his jaw practically on the floor.

“Loubear. Hey,” Harry greets, an easy smile on his face. He seems completely calm and collected, while Louis feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. 

“What are you doing here? And don’t call me that,” he says, tone harsh.

“Harsh, Lou. After all we’ve been through?” Louis wants to slap him across the face.

“After all you’ve put me through, yes. Now why are you here? And how do you know where I live?”

Harry gives him a sheepish smile and licks his lips, a telltale sign that he’s nervous. “Your mum gave me your address. And I um, I think I’m ready for that talk now.”

Louis looks back at Perrie who is looking at him quizzically, while trying to keep Ryan from putting everything he touches into his mouth. “Perrie, take the twins into the kitchen, yeah? There’s some cut up fruit and apple juice in the fridge you can give them.” Louis waits until Perrie and the twins have disappeared into the kitchen before stepping aside and letting Harry in. 

Harry wanders in and takes a seat on the couch, he pats the seat next to him but Louis stays standing in front of him. “I won’t bite, I promise.”

The only movement Louis makes is he crosses his arms over his chest. He wants to desperately to kick Harry out of his house and tell him to never come back. He wants so desperately to hate Harry. But he can’t. No matter how much he wants to he’ll never be able to give up Harry, he’ll always need to know that maybe, just maybe, the curly haired boy will show up and sweep him off his feet. And he knows that no matter how hard he tries and how many men he dates he’ll never be able to get over Harry. He’ll never be able to replace him. But he can’t tell him that. So he does what he does best, he pretends. “Cut the crap, Harry. You can’t show up here after three years of no contact at all without an explanation.” Fake anger coats Louis’ words, and he can tell by the hurt look on Harry’s face that it worked. (He only wishes he didn’t feel guilty for it).

Harry sighs and rubs his hands over his face. “I was scared. Before. When you first told me. I didn’t know what to do. Lou I hadn’t talked to you in weeks and then suddenly you were back in Doncaster and you were pregnant and I didn’t know what to do. You were my life for so long and then you left and I needed something to fill the void and Kendall was there and I let her control my life. I thought that by me pretending to love her I would stop loving you and it would all of these problems would go away. But then one day your mum came over to have tea with mine and she showed her a picture of the babies and I saw and I realized how wrong I was. So I broke up with Kendall and I tried to put myself in the places you would be, so that I could see you and get to talk to you. But you never showed up. And then I finally got the cuts to ask your mum for your address and it turns out you had just moved to London. She gave me this address here, and for six months I’ve been working up the courage to come here and confront you and I’m finally doing it. Sp please, please, give me another chance.”

Louis looks over at Harry. Sees how worn down and tired he looks. Louis sighs and slowly walks over to Harry, taking a seat on the couch next to him. “Harry. I get that you were scared, I was scared too. I thought I was on top of the world, I was going to my dream University, studying to be able to do my dream job and then I found out I was pregnant and it all went to shit. I love the twins and I would never do anything differently but I needed someone. I needed someone to understand what I was going through and you were the only person that could and you just ignored it. You chose her over me, and that didn’t upset me just because I was pregnant, but because I was your best friend. You promised you’d always be there for me no matter what and when I really needed you you ran away. And then the twins were born and I tried to forget you. I didn’t do anything but work and take care of the babies, I even avoided my mum’s house in case you might randomly stop by or something. And then when this job opportunity came up I took it, because I needed to prove to everyone, and myself, that I was over you. And that I could raise the babies by myself without help from anyone. And know you’re here and I’ve been avoiding you for so long and I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

Harry nods like he understands, and he does to a point. “I get that, Lou. I do. Just. We can take it one step at a time, yeah? What are you doing tomorrow night? Let me take you out. And not just as best friends. Like a proper date. And if it doesn’t work then I’ll disappear and leave you alone or whatever it is you want me to do.”

“Okay. Yeah, okay.”

-

Harry takes Louis out the very next night while Zayn and Perrie watch the twins, and he actually has fun. He thought things would be awkward and tense between them, but the conversation flows just as easily as it did before everything happened. Before the twins. When they’re sitting on a park bench watching the stars Louis shows Harry a recent picture of the twins, and he hugs him when he cries over the fact that Ryan has his eyes and his hair color and Grace has his curls and his button nose.

And when Harry drops Louis off at his front door with a kiss on his cheek he finds himself yearning for those soft lips to press against his.

-

They go on two more dates before Harry is introduced to the twins. And Louis couldn’t be more nervous.

-

“I don’t get why you’re nervous, I’m the one that should be nervous,” Harry says with a laugh as he and Louis sit on the couch. Perrie and Zayn had taken the twins out for the day, and they’ll be back any second. Which means Louis is only moments away from no longer being a single father.

“What if they hate you? What if they hate you and don’t want you to be their dad?” Louis panics. 

Harry laughs even louder and pulls Louis into his chest, his lips pressing against his forehead. “Loubear, everything is going to be fine. You could tell the twins that a statute is their father and they’d love him instantly. It’s going to be okay.”

Louis melts into Harry’s touch and takes a deep breath. “You’re right. You’re right. I’m overthinking it.” Louis actually relaxes for the first time that day, that is until Perrie is pushing open the front door. Louis gets up and rushes over to them, he takes the twins from his friends and gives them each a kiss on the cheek before he and Harry are alone. With their children. “Come on, guys, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Louis brings the twins over to the couch and sits down, his hands twitching nervously. Both of the twins stare up at Harry with wide eyes, and Grace reaches out to tentatively yank one of Harry’s curls. “Curls! Like me!” she shouts with a giggle. 

“Yeah, baby. He’s got curls just like you. And Ry,” the baby breaks his gaze at Harry to stare at Louis. “He’s got your eyes.” The boy nods seriously before going back to stare at Harry. “Ry, Gracie. This is your Papa. Can you guys say that?” They both repeat Louis happily. 

“What mean Papa, daddy?” Ryan asks, slightly confused.

“It means that he’s like Daddy, but he has a different name.”

“Oh,” the little boy sighs. “Okay.”

Louis starts to nibble on his bottom lip as both of the twins seem to be more interested in staring at Harry then actually interacting with him. He’s beginning to think they weren’t ready for this, when Gracie slowly moves from his lap onto Harry’s. Harry holds her on his lap carefully, his lips turned up in a soft smile. 

“Papa?” The little girl asks, prompting Harry’s smile to grow.

“Yes, Princess?”

“You love me?”

Harry chuckles and nods. “Love you very much.”

“Love me?” Ryan pipes up, leaning towards Harry.

“Love you too.”

“Love Daddy?” Gracie asks.

Harry’s eyes leave his children for the first time since they entered the room, but only so he can look up into Louis’ blue eyes. “Yeah, I love your Daddy too.”

And for the first time in forever Louis doesn’t swallow his feelings. He doesn’t keep them bottled and kept away where no one can reach them. He smiles at Harry and runs a hand through the older boys curly hair. “Daddy loves your Papa too.”  
-

After two more dates Harry moves in. (Louis claims it’s because he was getting tired of the twins always asking for him but really it was because he missed having him around all the time).

-

And three dates after that Harry gets down on one knee and proposes to Louis, tears in both of their eyes and their children babbling in the background. 

-

When they’ve been married for six months and the twins have just turned three Louis has some news for Harry, and he really hopes he doesn’t run away this time.

-

“So. What is this exciting news you have to tell me?” Harry asks Louis as he sits in bed, doing some work on his laptop. 

Louis smiles at him and grabs something out of their desk, before he crawls up the bed towards his husband. He sits on his knees in front of Harry, one of his hands behind his back while the other comes up and slowly shuts the laptop. 

“Must be important then,” Harry says, sitting up more and placing his laptop on the bedside table. He pats his lap and Louis crawls into it, batting Harry’s hands away when he tries to grabs what’s behind his back. “Alright get on with it. What do you have to tell me?”

“Remember how like, three years ago I went away to college?” Louis waits for Harry to give him a nod (it’s a confused one but still a nod) before continuing. “And then suddenly one day I showed up back home? And then I dropped out?” Louis bites his lip to muffle a giggle as Harry nods, still confused. “Do you remember why I dropped out?”

“Because you were pregnant with the twins. Louis I’m tired off all the riddles what are you trying to tell me?” Harry huffs out in annoyance, causing Louis to giggle. 

“And you know how I said I was going to go back to school now that the babies are older?” Harry nods again, more annoyed than anything. “Well I don’t think I can go back to school. ‘Cause um. I’m pregnant.”

As Louis’ words sink in a giant smile appears on Harry’s face, and he grabs Louis’ face before bringing their lips together in a sweet kiss. “Oh Lou! That’s fantastic! I won’t run away again. I promise,” he whispers the last part, before kissing Louis again. “So what’s that behind your back, then?” He asks, his tone telling Louis that he already knows what it is.

“A sonogram. You wanna see it?” Louis can’t help but laugh when Harry nods excitedly and holds the sonogram out for his husband. But just before Harry can grab it Louis pulls it away and puts it back behind his back. “You can only see it if you promise not to steal it from me this time.”

Harry laughs at that and nods. “Course, baby. I only took that one because I didn’t think I’d ever have the chance to see another one. I won’t steal it. I promise.”

-

And Harry really does keep his promises.

-

“What is this?” Louis asks curiously as he enters the kitchen, noticing there’s a present sitting on the table in front of his chair. Harry looks away from Louis quickly, while Ryan and Gracie giggle into their pancakes. 

“Do you two know about this?” he asks the three year olds, quizzically, one hand supporting his giant belly as he takes a seat. 

“Maybe!” Gracie chirps, her curls bouncing as she sways from side to side. 

“It’s a gift from Papa!” Ryan chirps, causing Louis to look scuriously at Harry’s back.

“Really?” A kick from the little girl he has growing in his belly urges him to grab the present and rip the paper from it. A small gasp leaves Louis’ lips as the first thing is revealed, a crinkled up sonogram picture encased in a black frame. “Oh Harry,” he whispers, looking up at his husband, tears in the corners of his eyes. 

His husband shrugs, a small smile on his lips. “I found it the other night. While I was going through some old things off mine. I thought you might like it.”

Louis wipes away the few tears that have escaped and pulls the rest of the paper away, revealing the fresh, pristine sonogram that he had showed Harry three and a half months ago. Again he looks up at his husband, who gives him a cheeky wink. 

“I told you I’d give it back.”


End file.
